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Thursday, March 12, 2009

Listening


Listening Skill: An Important Skill to Understand Others and to Respond
  • Listening is an important human skill.
  • It is a subset of communication skills.
  • Every interaction with others as well as self (introspection) involves some degree of listening.
  • Listening strengthens the quality of communication, interpersonal relations, human relations, emotional intelligence, conflict management and team management.
  • Every interaction requires one to respond and quality of listening improves the quality of response.
Hierarchy of Listening

There are two major types of listening:
  1. Listening within the sphere of one's own hsoftware (values, knowledge, paradigms and will to act). This type of listening is supportive of making the listener react, reply, control or manipulate the other person but not necessarily to understand the other person properly to respond or act in the best possible way. For detailed explanation of hsoftware, refer: http://shyam.bhatawdekar.com
  2. Listening within the sphere of other’s hsoftware (overall mental frame). Here the listening is done to understand the other person and not just to react, reply, control or manipulate the other person. By understanding the other person properly, the listener can respond or act in the best possible manner.
In turn, there are five levels of listening within the sphere of one's own hsoftware:
  1. Ignoring/showing indifference
  2. Pretend listening
  3. Selective listening
  4. Patronizing listening
  5. Attentive listening
  6. Active listening
and one level of listening within the sphere of other's hsoftware:
  1. Empathic listening
Ignoring/Showing Indifference
  • This is not listening at all. This happens when one person ignores the other person or shows indifference to what the other person is saying.
  • This is pretty insulting to the other person.
Pretend Listening
  • This happens when one person is making other person believe that he is listening though in reality, he is not listening.
  • There may be several reasons to do so and the person may choose one or more reasons to ignore or be indifferent.
  • The reason may also be that the person lacks the listening skills.
Selective Listening
  • This happens when one listens to only selective portion of what the other person is saying.
  • There may be several reasons to do so and the person may choose one or more reasons to use selective listening.
  • The reason may also be that the person lacks in the listening skills.
Patronizing Listening
  • This happens when the listener takes a patronizing position with reference to the other person.
  • The person listens with a superior attitude; the superiority is drawn from power position, age, hierarchy, money etc.
  • The person listens with an explicit or implicit posture to distribute favor or punishment to the other person.
Attentive Listening
  • This happens when the person is really focusing on what the other person is saying and paying attention and understanding/trying to understand what the other person is saying.
  • This is definitely a better form of listening but most of the times, the understanding of what the other person is saying will be influenced by the listener's own hsoftware (overall mental frame). His understanding may be erroneous.
  • Here also, listening skill is not of the highest proficiency level.
Active Listening
  • This happens when the listener tries to understand what the other person is saying by being interactive with him by giving him the feedback of his understanding.
  • The feedback pertains more at the verbal level exchange of communication between the two.
  • This is done through repeating or paraphrasing of understanding by the listener and transmitting that feedback to the other person for confirmation.
Empathic Listening
  • This is the most effective level of listening.
  • As mentioned earlier, listening is not done just to react, reply, control or manipulate the other person or the situation but to understand the other person properly to respond or act in the best possible way.
  • The listener takes his time to diagnose.
  • He tries first to understand, then, takes action to be understood.
  • The listener puts himself in other person's shoes. The first step to put yourself in other's shoes is to first take out one's own shoes (keep your own hsoftware at bay to start with).
  • Empathic listening is not technique oriented where as the other types of listening have techniques at their base to develop those listening skills.
  • It is value based. It is based on respect for the other person as well as on openness and trust.
  • The listener has to open an emotional bank account in the other person and that's how the person opens up.
  • Listening has to be done with demonstrated intent to understand the other person.
  • The listener should try to understand the other person fully and deeply, intellectually as well as emotionally. It does not necessarily mean that you fully agree with him. Refer: http://emotional-quotient-intelligence.blogspot.com/ (Emotional Intelligence)
  • Empathy is not sympathy. In sympathy you make other person dependent on you. Here you don't.
  • Only 10% of our communication is by the words we say, another 30% is by our sounds and 60% by our body language. In empathic listening, the listener listens with his ears but also with his eyes and with his heart. One should listen for feeling and meaning.
  • Empathic listening is the key to making deposits in emotional bank accounts of others.
  • Apart from the basic need for physical survival, another basic need of human being is psychological survival- one wants to be understood and appreciated by others, one wants their affirmation and validation. Empathic listening satisfies this need.
  • After this need is satisfied, one can then focus on influencing or problem solving.
For everything you wanted to know on building leadership and management, refer Shyam Bhatawdekar’s websitehttp://shyam.bhatawdekar.com/

(Refer our High Quality Management Encyclopedia “Management Universe” at: http://management-universe.blogspot.com/)


For write-ups on other forms of communication refer: (Communication) http://communication-for-business.blogspot.com/, (Written Communication) http://written-communication.blogspot.com/, (Research Methodology) http://research-work-methodology.blogspot.com/, (Email Communication) http://email-etiquette-manners.blogspot.com/

Books Suggested for Your Professional, Organization's and Personal Libraries (All the titles below are available in print form and as eBooks online from Amazon)

Management, Business, Self-help and Personality Development Books

1. HSoftware (Human Software) (The Only Key to Higher Effectiveness)
2. Sensitive Stories of Corporate World (Management Case Studies)
3. Classic Management Games, Exercises, Energizers and Icebreakers
4. Classic Management Games, Exercises, Energizers and Icebreakers (Volume 2)
5. Classic Team Building Games, Exercises, Energizers and Icebreakers
6. 101 Classic Management Games, Exercises, Energizers and Icebreakers
7. Stress? No Way!! (Handbook on Stress Management)
8. HSoftware (Shyam Bhatawdekar’s Effectiveness Model)
9. Competency Management (Competency Matrix and Competencies)
10. Soft Skills You Can’t Do Without (Goal Setting, Time Management, Assertiveness and Anger Management)
11. Essentials of Work Study (Method Study and Work Measurement)
12. Essentials of Time Management (Taking Control of Your Life)
13. Essentials of 5S Housekeeping
14. Essentials of Quality Circles
15. Essentials of Goal Setting
16. Essentials of Anger Management
17. Essentials of Assertive Behavior
18. Essentials of Performance Management & Performance Appraisal
19. Health Essentials (Health Is Wealth)
20. The Romance of Intimacy (How to Enhance Intimacy in a Relationship?)

Novels, Stories, Biographies and Travelogues

21. The Peace Crusaders (Novel: how the peace crusaders established permanent peace on a war strewn planet?)
22. Love Knows No Bounds (Novel: a refreshingly different love story. Also available with the title “Good People”)
23. Funny (and Not So Funny) Short Stories
24. Stories Children Will Love (Volume 1: Bhanu-Shanu-Kaju-Biju and Dholu Ram Gadbad Singh)
25. My Father (Biography)
26. Travelogue: Scandinavia, Russia
27. Travelogue: Europe


For More Guidance, Assistance, Training and Consultation

Contact: prodcons@prodcons.com

Also refer: http://prodcons-group.blogspot.com/, http://training-development-function.blogspot.com/ and http://productivity-consultants.blogspot.com/

Other Topics of Interest

All Management Topics (General Management, Marketing and Sales, Service, Operations/Manufacturing, Quality, Maintenance, Human Resources, Finance and Accounts, Information Technology, Life Management)

The topics are listed in alphabetic order:

(Home Pages for All the Management Topics) http://management-universe.blogspot.com/ and http://management-universe-enotes.blogspot.com/
(Building Leadership and Management) http://shyam.bhatawdekar.com
(Alphabetic List of All Management Topics) http://management-enotes.blogspot.com/
(Home Page for Writings of Shyam Bhatawdekar) http://writings-of-shyam.blogspot.com/
(5S Housekeeping) http://5s-housekeeping.blogspot.com/
(Activity Based Costing- ABC) http://activitybased-costing.blogspot.com/
(Advertising) http://advertising-mass-communication.blogspot.com/
(Anger Management) http://controlling-anger.blogspot.com/
(Assertiveness) http://assertiveness-skill.blogspot.com/
(Assessment Centers) http://assessment-centers.blogspot.com/
(A to Z of Management Systems) http://a-z-management-systems.blogspot.com/
(A to Z of Quality Techniques) http://a-z-quality-techniques.blogspot.com/
(Balanced Scorecard) http://balanced-scorecard-system.blogspot.com/
(Basic Statistics) http://statistics-basic.blogspot.com/
(Behavioral Safety) http://behavioral-safety.blogspot.com/
(Benchmarking) http://benchmarking-system.blogspot.com/
(Body Language or Non-verbal Communication) http://body-language-communication.blogspot.com/
(Books- Best Management Books) http://best-management-books.blogspot.com/
(Boundaryless) http://shyambhatawdekar.blogspot.com/
(Brainstorming) http://brainstorming-technique.blogspot.com/
(Business Ethics and Ethics in Management) http://business-management-ethics.blogspot.com/ (Business Plan) http://business-plan-document.blogspot.com/
(Business Process Reengineering- BPR) http://business-process-reengineering-bpr.blogspot.com/
(Career Planning within Organizations) http://organizational-career-planning.blogspot.com/
(Case Method) http://case-method.blogspot.com/
(Case Studies in Management) http://corporate-case-studies.blogspot.com/
(CEO Roles, Qualities and Competencies) http://ceo-qualities.blogspot.com/
(Change Management) http://manage-change.blogspot.com/
(Coaching) http://coaching-skill.blogspot.com/
(Communication) http://communication-for-business.blogspot.com/
(Competencies- Life Management) http://shyam-bhatawdekar.blogspot.com/
(Competency Matrix) http://competency-matrix.blogspot.com/
(Conflict Management) http://manage-conflict.blogspot.com/
(Corporate Governance) http://corporate-governance-policy.blogspot.com/
(Cost Management) http://cost-management-control.blogspot.com/
(Cost of Quality- COQ) http://cost-of-quality.blogspot.com/
(Counseling at Workplace) http://counseling-skill.blogspot.com/
(Creativity and Innovation) http://creativity-management.blogspot.com/
(Critical Thinking skills) http://critical-thinking-skills.blogspot.com/
(Cross Cultural Etiquette and Manners) http://cross-cultural-etiquette.blogspot.com/
(Customer Orientation) http://customer-orientation.blogspot.com/
(Customer Relationship management- CRM) http://customer-relationship-crm.blogspot.com/
(Daily Management) http://daily-management.blogspot.com/
(Decision Making) http://decision-making-function.blogspot.com/
(Delegation) http://delegation-skill.blogspot.com/
(Design for Manufacture) http://design-for-manufacture.blogspot.com/
(Dining Etiquette and Table Manners) http://dining-manners.blogspot.com/
(Discipline at Work) http://discipline-at-work.blogspot.com/
(Dream Exotic) http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/my-exotic-dream/6txz9nck6g3/8#
(Effectiveness and Efficiency) http://effectiveness-efficiency.blogspot.com/
(Effectiveness Management: HSoftware) http://humansoftware.blogspot.com/
(Efficiency Techniques: Work study: Motion and Time Study) http://work-study-measurement.blogspot.com/
(Efficient Work Methods or Practices) http://efficient-work-methods.blogspot.com/
(Email Etiquette) http://email-etiquette-manners.blogspot.com/
(Emotional Intelligence) http://emotional-quotient-intelligence.blogspot.com/
(Empowerment) http://employee-empowerment.blogspot.com/
(Enterprise Resource Planning- ERP) http://erp-management.blogspot.com/
(Entrepreneurship and Entrepreneur) http://entrepreneurship-entrepreneur.blogspot.com/
(Executive Etiquette and Manners) http://executive-manners.blogspot.com/
(Exit Interview) http://exit-interview.blogspot.com/
(Financial Ratios and Financial Ratio Analysis) http://financial-ratios.blogspot.com/
(Financial Services) http://finance-related-services.blogspot.com/
(Functions of Management) http://functions-of-management.blogspot.com/
(Gemba Kaizen) http://gemba-kaizen-improvement.blogspot.com/
(Genuine Professional) http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/the-genuine-professional/6txz9nck6g3/10#
(Global Mindset) http://global-mindset.blogspot.com/
(Goal/Target Setting) http://goal-target-setting.blogspot.com/
(Group Discussion) http://group-discussion-gd.blogspot.com/
(Group Dynamics) http://group-dynamics-process.blogspot.com/
(How to Be a Good Boss) http://good-boss.blogspot.com/
(How to Get Promoted) http://get-promoted.blogspot.com/
(How to save Money) http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/how-to-save-money/6txz9nck6g3/11#
(HR Dynamics) http://hrm-dynamics.blogspot.com/
(HR Strategies and Functions) http://strategic-functions-hrm.blogspot.com/
(Human Capital Architecture) http://human-capital-architecture.blogspot.com/
(Human Relations) http://human-relations-aspect.blogspot.com/
(Human Resource Planning) http://human-resource-planning.blogspot.com/
(Human Software- HSoftware) http://human-software-hsoftware.blogspot.com/
(Internal Motivation or Self Motivation) http://internal-motivation.blogspot.com/
(Interpersonal Relations) http://interpersonal-relations.blogspot.com/
(Interview Skills) http://interviewing-skill.blogspot.com/
(Interview Preparation for Job Seekers) http://interview-preparation-jobs.blogspot.com/
(Interview Questions) http://interview-question-bank.blogspot.com/
(Just in Time Management- JIT) http://just-in-time-management.blogspot.com/
(Kaizen) http://kaizen-improvement.blogspot.com/
(Knowledge Management) http://knowledge-management-initiative.blogspot.com/
(Lead Time Management) http://lead-time-management.blogspot.com/
(Leadership) http://lead-max.blogspot.com/
(Lean Enterprise) http://lean-organization.blogspot.com/
(Learning Organization) http://learning-organization-profile.blogspot.com/
(Life Management: Competencies) http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/competency-matrix/6txz9nck6g3/4#
(Life Management: Effectiveness Management: HSoftware) http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/management-in-life-profession-family/6txz9nck6g3/3#
(Life Management: I Am Liberated) http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/i-am-liberated/6txz9nck6g3/6#
(Life Positions and OKness) http://life-positions.blogspot.com/
(Life Skills) http://life-skills-competencies.blogspot.com/
(Listening) http://listen-skills.blogspot.com/
(Management Anecdotes) http://management-anecdotes.blogspot.com/
(Management Book- Best Books) http://best-management-books.blogspot.com/
(Management Information System- MIS) http://management-information-system-mis.blogspot.com/
(Managing/conducting Meetings) http://managing-meetings.blogspot.com/
(Management Notes- Free and Authentic) http://authentic-management-notes.blogspot.com/
(Marginal Utility) http://marginal-utility-concept.blogspot.com/
(Marketing Management Overview) http://marketing-management-overview.blogspot.com/
(Marketing Management Tasks) http://marketing-management-tasks.blogspot.com/
(Marketing Orientation) http://marketing-orientation.blogspot.com/
(Market Research) http://market-research-function.blogspot.com/
(Market Segmentation) http://market-segment.blogspot.com/
(Mentoring) http://mentor-mentorship.blogspot.com/
(Motivation) http://motivation-people.blogspot.com/
(Musings of Shyam Bhatawdekar on every topic on the earth) http://shyam-bhatawdekar-musings.blogspot.com/
(Negotiation Skills) http://negotiating-skills.blogspot.com/
(Negotiation Tactics) http://negotiation-tactics.blogspot.com/
(Objection Handling) http://objection-handling.blogspot.com/
(Organization Development- OD) http://organization-development-od.blogspot.com/
(Organizational Culture) http://organizational-culture-values.blogspot.com/
(Out of Box Ideas) http://wow-idea.blogspot.com/
(Ownership on Job) http://job-ownership.blogspot.com/
(Paradigm and Paradigm Shift) http://paradigm-mindset.blogspot.com/
(Performance Management and Appraisal) http://performance-appraisal-management.blogspot.com/
(Personality) http://human-personality.blogspot.com/
(Positive Strokes) http://positive-strokes.blogspot.com/
(Presentation Skills) http://presentation-effectiveness.blogspot.com/
(Problem Solving) http://problem-solving-skill.blogspot.com/
(Profit Improvement) http://profit-improvement.blogspot.com/
(Project Management) http://management-of-project.blogspot.com/
(Public Speaking) http://public-speak-skill.blogspot.com/
(Quality Circles History) http://quality-circles-history.blogspot.com/
(Quality Circles) http://quality-circles.blogspot.com/
(Quality Function Deployment- QFD and House of Quality) http://quality-function-deployment.blogspot.com/
(Quality Gurus) http://quality-gurus.blogspot.com/
(Recession) http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/recession/6txz9nck6g3/7#
(Recession Management) http://recession-management.blogspot.com/
(Recession and Opportunities) http://knol.google.com/k/kalpana-bhatawdekar/recession-and-opportunities/1268ytxl8r5dc/1
(Recruitment and Selection) http://recruitment-selection.blogspot.com/
(Research Methodology) http://research-work-methodology.blogspot.com/
(Safety and Health Management) http://safety-health-management.blogspot.com/
(Sales/Selling Process) http://selling-process.blogspot.com/
(Sales Promotion) http://sales-promotion.blogspot.com/
(Self-concept) http://self-concept-image.blogspot.com/
(Self-concept) http://self-image-concept.blogspot.com/
(Self-concept) http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/self-concept/6txz9nck6g3/12#
(Self Motivation or Internal Motivation) http://internal-motivation.blogspot.com/
(Self-confidence) http://self-confidence-improvement.blogspot.com/
(Self Development) http://managing-self.blogspot.com/
(Shyam Bhatawdekar’s Articles on Management) http://writings-of-shyam.blogspot.com/
(Six Sigma) http://six-sigma-system.blogspot.com/
(Six Thinking Hats) http://six-thinking-hats.blogspot.com/
(Soft Skills) http://soft-skills-competencies.blogspot.com/
(Spiritual Quotient/Intelligence) http://spiritual-quotient.blogspot.com/
(Statistics- Basic) http://statistics-basic.blogspot.com/
(Strategic Management) http://strategic-managing.blogspot.com/
(Stress Management) http://management-of-stress.blogspot.com/
(Stress Management) http://managing-stress-strain.blogspot.com/
(Success in Life or Success) http://success-achievement.blogspot.com/
(Success in Life or Success) http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/success-in-life/6txz9nck6g3/14#view
(Supply Chain Management) http://manage-supply-chain.blogspot.com/
(Supply and Demand) http://supply-demand-laws.blogspot.com/
(Talent Management) http://managing-talent.blogspot.com/
(Team Building) http://team-building-working.blogspot.com/
(Telephone Etiquette) http://telephone-etiquette.blogspot.com/
(Three Sixty Degrees Appraisal System) http://three-sixty-degrees-feedback.blogspot.com/
(Time Management) http://time-life-management.blogspot.com/
(Total Productive Maintenance- TPM) http://total-productive-maintenance.blogspot.com/
(Total Quality Management- TQM) http://total-quality-concept.blogspot.com/
(Training and Development) http://training-function.blogspot.com/
(Trainers’ Qualities) http://trainers-qualities.blogspot.com/
(Transaction Analysis- TA) http://transaction-analysis.blogspot.com/
(TRIZ- Inventive Problem Solving) http://triz-problem-solving.blogspot.com/
(Value Engineering/Analysis) http://value-engineering-analysis.blogspot.com/
(Winners and Losers) http://winners-losers.blogspot.com/
(Work Study: Method Study and Work Measurement) http://work-study-measurement.blogspot.com/
(Work Methods or Practices: Efficient) http://efficient-work-methods.blogspot.com/
(World Class Manufacturing) http://world-class-manufacturing.blogspot.com/
(Writings of Shyam Bhatawdekar on Management) http://writings-of-shyam.blogspot.com/
(Written Communication) http://written-communication.blogspot.com/
(Zero Based Budgeting) http://zero-based-budgeting.blogspot.com/

Counseling: General and Psychological
(Anger Management) http://controlling-anger.blogspot.com/
(Children’s Behavior Problems) http://child-behavior-problems.blogspot.com/
(Cholesterol Control) http://controlling-cholesterol.blogspot.com/
(Counseling: Psychological) http://counselingfamily.blogspot.com/
(Counseling: Psychological) http://counseling-family.blogspot.com/
(Cross Cultural Etiquette) http://cross-cultural-etiquette.blogspot.com/
(Emotions) http://emotion-feeling.blogspot.com/
(Executive Etiquette and Manners) http://executive-manners.blogspot.com/
(Exercises) http://exercises-plan.blogspot.com/
(Family Counseling) http://family-harmony.blogspot.com/
(Health: Homeopathy) http://homeopathy-medicines.blogspot.com/
(LifeManagement: Competencies) http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/competency-matrix/6txz9nck6g3/4#
(Life Management: Effectiveness Management: HSoftware) http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/management-in-life-profession-family/6txz9nck6g3/3#
(Life management: I Am Liberated) http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/i-am-liberated/6txz9nck6g3/6#view
(Marriage Counseling) http://marriage-counsel.blogspot.com/
(Ownership on Job) http://job-ownership.blogspot.com/
(Parental Responsibilities) http://parental-responsibilities.blogspot.com/
(Personality) http://human-personality.blogspot.com/
(Qualities of Spouse) http://spouse-qualities.blogspot.com/
(Quit Smoking) http://quit-smoking-plan.blogspot.com/
(Self Development) http://managing-self.blogspot.com/
(Self-confidence) http://self-confidence-improvement.blogspot.com/
(Stress Management) http://managing-stress-strain.blogspot.com/
(Stress Management) http://management-of-stress.blogspot.com/
(Swine Flu and Its Prevention) http://swine-flu-precaution.blogspot.com/
(Telephone Etiquette) http://telephone-etiquette.blogspot.com/
(Walking) http://walking-plan.blogspot.com/
(Winners and Losers) http://winners-losers.blogspot.com/

About All the Products(Home Page for All Products) http://products-all.blogspot.com/
(Cars) http://cars-products.blogspot.com/
(Chocolates) http://chocolates-products.blogspot.com/
(Flowers) http://flowers-products.blogspot.com/
(Greeting Cards) http://greeting-cards-products.blogspot.com/
(Mobile Phones) http://mobilephones-products.blogspot.com/

Home Tips
(Home Page for All Home Tips) http://home-tips-tricks.blogspot.com/
(Entertainment: Movies) http://popular-movies.blogspot.com/
(Oscar Award Movies) http://oscar-award-movies.blogspot.com/
(Entertainment: Recommended Hindi Movies) http://unforgettable-hindi-movies.blogspot.com/
(Entertainment- Hindi Movies of Your Choice) http://hindi-movies-choice.blogspot.com/
(Plagiarized, Copied or Inspired Hindi Movies) http://copied-hindi-movies.blogspot.com/
(Health: Homeopathy) http://homeopathy-medicines.blogspot.com/
(Housekeeping at Home) http://5s-housekeeping-home.blogspot.com/
(How to Save Money) http://save-money-ideas.blogspot.com/ or http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/how-to-save-money/6txz9nck6g3/11#
(Jewelry Design) http://thejewellerydesigner.blogspot.com/
(Recipes: Easy to Cook) http://easytocook-recipes.blogspot.com/
(Recipes: Exotic) http://tastetherecipes.blogspot.com/
(Stories for Children) http://stories-children.blogspot.com/
(Travel and Sightseeing- India) http://india-tours-sightseeing.blogspot.com/
(Travel and Sightseeing- World) http://sightseeing-guide.blogspot.com/
(World Heritage Sites) http://world-heritage-spots.blogspot.com/

General Knowledge and Out of Box Ideas
(General Knowledge- GK) http://general-knowledge-gk.blogspot.com/
(General Knowledge- Top 5 of Everything) http://top-five-everything.blogspot.com/
(General Knowledge- Top 10 of Everything) http://top-ten-anything.blogspot.com/
(Out of Box Ideas) http://wow-idea.blogspot.com/
(Shyam Bhatawdekar’s Knols) http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/shyam-bhatawdekar/6txz9nck6g3/1#
(Running Commentary on the Run) http://running-comments.blogspot.com/

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